Why search for secret love closer than you think

"I failed."

My sister was on the phone. She was referring to the breakdown of her marriage. As I heard her say the words with crack in her voice, I just wanted to hug her outstretched. First divorce after seven years of marriage to a man who was emotionally distant and fraud. The second marriage was marred by infidelity, but enormous conflict rather than money.

In fact, both cases for something much deeper. Jenny, like many of us find love, and jumped in my relationship with the hope that they somehow would fill the void and she was feeling inside. When not successful such relations, ended up feeling worse than I did at the outset, and even more confused about finding love.

But often times hitting rock bottom opportunity look at ourselves differently. And what we call "magic moment", and it opens a new direction you literally could change your life. Very often, the answer is right there in front of you. Or within you, as I can tell.

Since childhood I enjoyed being around people, and listen to them carefully, understand the who, where and what shaped them. This natural instinct has helped me a lot in my career as a writer, author and composer, because when I create characters for books or TV shows, or even when I am creating music, it is important that I am able to communicate with people and translating through the written word, picture or song.

When it comes to love the theme, I have discovered all tend to look outside of ourselves for answers. We meander from one relationship to another, searching for someone or something else to fill the void — when really the turning inward and learning to love yourself first you create true freedom.

I know it may seem trite, but I find to be very true. But how do that? How can you go searching outside yourself for love getting inside and love love yourself first and then let to find you? I'll show you in a few simple steps:

1. making friends with you

Sometimes this harder than it seems. I had a friend once tell me they feel lonely when she was in a relationship. I told her to start a relationship with itself. She showed me I was crazy. I said, we stand at the mirror and make friends with a woman looking again. She deserves it, you know.

A time to be just with you, to get in touch with how you feel about things, to remind yourself yeah, interesting. Laugh at yourself. Be your best friend. After all, who could adore you probably more than you? And when you learn to be friends with yourself, you'll be amazed at how cute it makes you appear to others. Everyone wants to be around people popular, right?

2. achieve you deserve love

Think of it this way: people tend to think if free, they are less valuable than something you pay for. If you believe you deserve to be loved, chances are no one either. Therefore it is important to spend time in this topic. Create list of your best features. Leave them again and again until they make you smile. Really feel them. Remind yourself that not wrong you're alive, as well as on the planet. Respect the spirit in recognizing the value of the world.

3. stop looking!

I know it may seem difficult, but you just have to stop looking for love, allowing it to flow to you. I talked to so many men and women who are always on the "search" on love, as if it must address weitsara on the ground. What to say really through their actions: "I am alone. Scared. And I need you to fill me. "

Alternatively, if you can get in that place for really loving "from you", enjoy your company, and focus your attention on work, friends and crafts and daily life, and you'll be surprised how I love you will find!

4. trust

And the biggie. I know it can be difficult, believe me. But confidence in yourself about having faith, a faith of knowing things to work for you. People-perfect people-there are currently, and if you can to that place of loving you first, then just trust the process coming through, you'll find that love when you least expect.

I hope you read these words you feel hope and inspiration, and that-just until now-get Flash how amazing you really deserve. Spend time with yourself, and learn to love yourself, and see what happens.

Stewart St. John new book love: "a story" is available at http://www.stjohn-fisher.com/love-a-story. Tells the story of fictional powerful decision one woman to end her life, and meeting her mysterious changed forever. Saint John Stewart is an award-winning children's television writer for shows such as Sabrina: the animated series "and writer/producer Disney 's" Seventeen again ". Its new location on the Internet network original programming, books and children's books, blogs and music called http://www.stjohn-fisher.com/company St. John-Fisher.

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